The Tension Between Friendship and Morality and Its Resolution:A Response from Confucian Philosophy
Unlike love,which is an emotion often characterized by a single dimension,the love at play in friendship is distinguished by its mutuality,two-way emotional exchange,and the intimacy between individuals.This form of love holds significant value and importance.Both the Chinese philosophy and the Western philosophy has discussed the content and the characteristics of"friend".For its content,Chinese philosophy points out that the friendly love is originated from the fatherly love in the beginning,and in its later development,the friendly love gradually is separated from the fatherly love.Even though the content of the friendly love became different from that of the fatherly love in the historical development,the characteristic of mutuality is kept and preserved.For both the Chinese philosophy and the Western philosophy,three elements are important in the definition of the friendly love:mutuality,intimacy,and acting together.In acting together,one's friendly love toward the other involves the moral requirement.Whether from the pursuit of virtue or from the perspective of a higher being such as God,most western philosophers argue that the friendly love are consistent with virtue,and this consistency is similar to the consistency between the friendly love and benevolence seeking in Chinese philosophy.However,for the consistency between the two,whether in history or in reality,there are still scholars who will question:if the friendly loving and virtuous activities refer to the consistent pursuit of two different activities,does it mean that there is a possible tension between the two different activities?Both Chinese and Western philosophy have emphasized the alignment between friendship and morality,though potential contradictions are sometimes overlooked.Some philosophers argue that there are irreconcilable contradictions between friendship and morality,while others assert that friendship and morality are independent and not closely connected.Addressing these tensions,including the potential independence of friendship and morality,requires further exploration.The argument here is that while friendship aligns with morality by emphasizing its moral pursuit,a deeper analysis from the moral perspective must address the intrinsic moral value of friendship itself.In this regard Confucianism offers valuable insights.Confucianism not only highlights the moral requirements of friendship but also emphasizes the importance of the friends themselves and their mutual intimacy,reflecting its moral value.Confucianism acknowledges the independent value of friendship,which is not merely instrumental to other activities.Friendship aligns with other virtues,although contradictions between them are possible.Additionally,friendship can harmonize with other virtues to contribute to social order by finding a balanced way for coexistence.The principle of harmony in Confucianism accommodates potential tensions and underscores the importance of timing in achieving coordination.Confucian perspectives offer a distinct view compared to other understandings:first,it recognizes possible tensions between friendship and other moral values,rather than assuming complete consistency;second,it acknowledges friendship's independent value as a broad moral category,differing from Western pluralistic moral theories;and third,it allows for friendship to harmonize with other moral values,in contrast to purely independent or contradictory accounts.Re-examining the independent value of friendship and acknowledging its potential contradictions with morality can be instrumental in pursuing an ideal life.